First Day

Well, today went from good to horrible.

I am probably overreacting because I am so stressed out, but I feel really panicky and nervous right now.

The opening flag ceremony was short and relatively interesting. The principle talked for a while and I didn't understand much of it. Then the new teachers introduced themselves. I mentioned graduating from an IB high school and that I was looking forward to being their teacher and friend.

My first class went really well. I ran out of stuff that I had planned only halfway through the class, but then we had a good discussion. The class asked me a lot of questions about me, and I asked them questions.

My second class went ok. I ran out of stuff again and was hoping to have another discussion. They asked me some weird questions like what sort of alcohol I liked to drink, so i tried to steer the conversation away from that. Only about 3 students were talking and the rest were quiet.

My last class for the day went horrible. It started out fine, but when I again tried to start a discussion, they just sat there. After a little while I asked if they were asleep. When one girl said yes, I asked them all to stand up and do 5 jumping jacks. Some did half assed jumps, some just waved their arms, and some just stared at me. I waited for most to move at least a little and then I told them they could sit down again. I tried again to get them to talk, but I got the same response. So I told them to start their homework, packed up my stuff and left.

Thinking back, I should have asked them to start their homework and then gone around to talk to them one by one quietly. But I just panicked. I couldn't stand being in the room anymore with them just staring at me. And now I am freaked out about going back tomorrow. I feel physically sick.

I am probably making this sound much worse than it is, but I feel terrible right now. I hope things get better soon. I wish I had someone from home to talk to and hug me and make me feel better.

I can't give up. If I fail at this, the only thing I will ever think of in the future when faced with a new problem is how I gave up. So I need to keep fighting and get through this. Some how.