Monday, 1 September 2008

First Day

Well, today went from good to horrible.

I am probably overreacting because I am so stressed out, but I feel really panicky and nervous right now.

The opening flag ceremony was short and relatively interesting. The principle talked for a while and I didn't understand much of it. Then the new teachers introduced themselves. I mentioned graduating from an IB high school and that I was looking forward to being their teacher and friend.

My first class went really well. I ran out of stuff that I had planned only halfway through the class, but then we had a good discussion. The class asked me a lot of questions about me, and I asked them questions.

My second class went ok. I ran out of stuff again and was hoping to have another discussion. They asked me some weird questions like what sort of alcohol I liked to drink, so i tried to steer the conversation away from that. Only about 3 students were talking and the rest were quiet.

My last class for the day went horrible. It started out fine, but when I again tried to start a discussion, they just sat there. After a little while I asked if they were asleep. When one girl said yes, I asked them all to stand up and do 5 jumping jacks. Some did half assed jumps, some just waved their arms, and some just stared at me. I waited for most to move at least a little and then I told them they could sit down again. I tried again to get them to talk, but I got the same response. So I told them to start their homework, packed up my stuff and left.

Thinking back, I should have asked them to start their homework and then gone around to talk to them one by one quietly. But I just panicked. I couldn't stand being in the room anymore with them just staring at me. And now I am freaked out about going back tomorrow. I feel physically sick.

I am probably making this sound much worse than it is, but I feel terrible right now. I hope things get better soon. I wish I had someone from home to talk to and hug me and make me feel better.

I can't give up. If I fail at this, the only thing I will ever think of in the future when faced with a new problem is how I gave up. So I need to keep fighting and get through this. Some how.


Allison said...

hang in there sprof! you did a very cool (and gutsy) thing going overseas to teach. there was some bad, but there was also some good. i have every confidence in you.

Beth said...

Aw roomie - I'm sorry to hear your first day was tough. It will probably take some time to figure out what each of your classes needs. Just be open with your students and things will fall into place. I know you can do it!

- The Other Roomie