On Being Sentimental

I am an overly sentimental person.

I have known this about myself for years. I attach meaning to the most ridiculous things. Moving from one country to another is incredibly difficult for me. Putting aside the fact that I am going to be leaving a job I love with coworkers I love in a city I have come to love that are all part of a life that I love, just PACKING is killing me

I am trying to be brutal about making decisions. I only have two suitcases and my carry-on that I have to bring with me. I know I can ship stuff home but its very expensive and I don't want to break the bank. I have TWO YEARS worth of memories, gifts, and LIFE that I need to go through and decide what to do with.

There are a few givens, thankfully. Everything on my "wall of love" is coming home. Nearly everything that was given to me as a gift is coming home. All of my one of kind things (my hand carved buddha from Wuzhen, my mask from Suzhou, my calligraphy from Harbin, etc) is coming home. Then comes stuff like...clothes. And books. And notebooks. And magazines. And just STUFF. Sarah helped me out today. I had three boxes packed to mail home and I realized it was just too much. Sarah was over and we went through all three boxes and she made me argue/explain why everything in the three boxes needed to be sent home. When we were done I had a box and half of stuff left. It was rough.

I want to bring home a sweater because of the way it makes me feel when I wear it. I want to bring home a hat because I bought it from an event run by my students. I want to bring home my favorite baking dish because of the happy memories I have cooking for my friends with it. Plus I am also a worry wart. What happens if I get home and decide I really needed that item of clothing/book/doodad that I left behind?

I guess I wouldn't feel so bad about leaving stuff behind if I knew it was going to good use. I hope when my friends come over for my "Open House/Steal My Stuff" party they will take my things and use them.

I will feel better when this is all over and I don't have to make these decisions anymore.