So, I thought it would be a good idea to have my students write me an introduction letter and then I would write a letter back to each of them. Anyone see a problem with this plan?
....did I mention I have 62 students total? Yep. That means I have to write 62 letters. I am about halfway through writing them at this point. I need to have 3/4 of them done by Monday, but the other 1/4 can wait until Wednesday.
I am worried because my students are behaving so well. Randy says after 5 weeks of being angels they will go crazy. Is that supposed to make me feel better? It is truly scary to stand in front of 15-31 students and teach. I feel so outnumbered. I feel like I'm going to run out of ideas very quickly on what to teach them. When I think of how much responsibilities I have in front of me, I feel a little ill.
In the letters they have written to me, there have been some really nice comments. One girl said she loved my smile. Many students have said that I seem fun and they like my class. Again, I don't know if this is them sucking up or what. I hope they believe what they write. I have been writing down some important things about each student from their letters. I hope that way I will show them that I think of them as individuals and not just one class. I also hope that by respecting them, they will respect me. I also sneakily put my birthday in my introduction letter as a way to make them think of putting their birthday in theirs. Most of them wrote it and now I know many of their birthdays. :-)
I forget if I told anyone other than my parents, but I was upset because the website I was using to watch episodes of Doogie Howser doesn't work here in China. I was so upset. On Tuesday when I was walking back from the Blue Frog with Stephanie and Charlotte, Stephanie stopped to look at some DVDs. You would not believe what was on the top of the pile. Doogie Howser! All four seasons! The quality isn't amazing but it was SUPER CHEAP. Now I can get my Doogie Howser fix.
I have been here for about two weeks now and I haven't done laundry once. I should really do it tonight. Randy said that on Thursdays some of the foreign teachers like to go to his apartment to play poker. I don't really like poker, but it would be a way to get me out of my apartment and being social.
This friday a lot of the Chinese teachers are going to a play. They gave me a ticket and said I should come. The play is entirely in Chinese. Of course I want to be social and go because they are being so nice to invite me, but I worry about being annoyed or bored at a play that I can only understand about half of.
I've started to get a blister on the middle finger of my right hand. I was trying to figure out why because when I write the pen rubs on my ring finger. Then today I figured out why. 1. When I write on the board with chalk, it hits that finger and 2. When I use chopsticks it rubs against that finger. Oh well!
Sorry that I haven't posted pictures in a while. The batteries in my camera died. I can't plug my battery charger in here, and I haven't gotten around to getting new batteries yet.
Anyway, I have class in a few minutes. My last class of the day. This is the class where I do accents from all over the US. The other 3 classes loved it. Wish me luck.
I am going to end this post by saying thank goodness for my years of Improv teaching me to be quick on my feet and for CIBA for making me get used to speaking in front of a crowd. I don't know if I could do this job otherwise.
Much love everyone,
Stephanie
Thursday, 4 September 2008
Wednesday, 3 September 2008
Day Three
An excerpt from my one of my students introduction letters:
"Today's lesson which you taught us is very interesting, it's not like the other foreign teachers. I feel so relaxed that it makes me have more confidence to say something."
What more could I ask for?
"Today's lesson which you taught us is very interesting, it's not like the other foreign teachers. I feel so relaxed that it makes me have more confidence to say something."
What more could I ask for?
Tuesday, 2 September 2008
Second Day: Going Better So Far
Yesterday was so bad. I was freaking out in my apartment. I tried to distract myself by watching a movie, but all I had was "The Kite Runner". A Chinese teacher lent it to me. Good movie, but it made me even more depressed. I walked down the hall to talk to Stephanie just to get out of my room and out of my head.
She was very nice and very considerate, but other than that, she couldn't help me much at the time. She told me that she was really depressed her first semester, which didn't make me feel better. She couldn't tell me much about teaching at the high school since she teaches primary. She offered to hang out and watch a movie or go out to eat or something, but I was in state to be social. She did, though, send me a text message today to check up on me, which I really appreciate. Me, her, Charlotte and maybe some other teachers are going to the Blue Frog after work to hang out.
I couldn't sleep at all last night. This morning I hate half of a peanut butter sandwich and felt like I was going to throw up. I had some tea, which made me feel a little better. I really hope that once I get into a routine, I'll feel less freaked out about each day. And I hope I start sleeping better. Getting barely any sleep or no sleep at all is starting to drive me insane.
When I walked in the office today I was afraid someone was going to be like, "Where the heck did you go yesterday?" But no one seemed to notice that I had left early. Either that or the Chinese belief in "face" is saving me from an uncomfortable confrontation. As for my classes today, the first one went very well. The second class (which was with the same group of students that was in my horrific last class yesterday) went ok. They were still pretty quiet, but I did what I could to get them to talk. They loosened up a bit and laughed when I demonstrated different American accents (southern, boston, new york, etc). And when we talked about brainstorming I tried to get really excited about every answer they gave me, which made more of them talk.
One thing that made me feel better was the letters. Most of my first class today already handed in their introduction letters (only one student from the second class had finished hers). And most of them made a reference to how much they were looking forward to my class, or that they liked the way I taught already. One student talked in length about how he agrees with me that language learning happens best in a relaxed environment and that he was so happy to hear a teacher say that for the first time. I don't know if any of what they wrote is just them trying to suck up to the teacher or if they actually believe what they wrote, but it was very encouraging to read.
I think one of the things I need to work on most is having enough prepared for class. I don't want to ever run out and have to look at a sea of silent faces again. It's nice that I have to teach the same thing 4 times. True, it gets repetitive, but after doing it once I have a better idea what works and what doesn't. How much time each thing takes. Etc etc...
I choose this job over the other offers I had in different cities or different schools or even over a job at the primary section of THIS school because I love the IB program and the type of students it attracted in my high school. It's frustrating to get here and find out that a lot of these kids are here because their parents forced them to and they would rather be somewhere else.
Anyway, I hope this isn't depressing to read. But things are going better today. I'm doing what I can. I feel like I am trying to get through a dark tunnel or climb a huge mountain. I can't imagine being able to do the whole thing, but looking at it piece by piece is making it easier to manage.
She was very nice and very considerate, but other than that, she couldn't help me much at the time. She told me that she was really depressed her first semester, which didn't make me feel better. She couldn't tell me much about teaching at the high school since she teaches primary. She offered to hang out and watch a movie or go out to eat or something, but I was in state to be social. She did, though, send me a text message today to check up on me, which I really appreciate. Me, her, Charlotte and maybe some other teachers are going to the Blue Frog after work to hang out.
I couldn't sleep at all last night. This morning I hate half of a peanut butter sandwich and felt like I was going to throw up. I had some tea, which made me feel a little better. I really hope that once I get into a routine, I'll feel less freaked out about each day. And I hope I start sleeping better. Getting barely any sleep or no sleep at all is starting to drive me insane.
When I walked in the office today I was afraid someone was going to be like, "Where the heck did you go yesterday?" But no one seemed to notice that I had left early. Either that or the Chinese belief in "face" is saving me from an uncomfortable confrontation. As for my classes today, the first one went very well. The second class (which was with the same group of students that was in my horrific last class yesterday) went ok. They were still pretty quiet, but I did what I could to get them to talk. They loosened up a bit and laughed when I demonstrated different American accents (southern, boston, new york, etc). And when we talked about brainstorming I tried to get really excited about every answer they gave me, which made more of them talk.
One thing that made me feel better was the letters. Most of my first class today already handed in their introduction letters (only one student from the second class had finished hers). And most of them made a reference to how much they were looking forward to my class, or that they liked the way I taught already. One student talked in length about how he agrees with me that language learning happens best in a relaxed environment and that he was so happy to hear a teacher say that for the first time. I don't know if any of what they wrote is just them trying to suck up to the teacher or if they actually believe what they wrote, but it was very encouraging to read.
I think one of the things I need to work on most is having enough prepared for class. I don't want to ever run out and have to look at a sea of silent faces again. It's nice that I have to teach the same thing 4 times. True, it gets repetitive, but after doing it once I have a better idea what works and what doesn't. How much time each thing takes. Etc etc...
I choose this job over the other offers I had in different cities or different schools or even over a job at the primary section of THIS school because I love the IB program and the type of students it attracted in my high school. It's frustrating to get here and find out that a lot of these kids are here because their parents forced them to and they would rather be somewhere else.
Anyway, I hope this isn't depressing to read. But things are going better today. I'm doing what I can. I feel like I am trying to get through a dark tunnel or climb a huge mountain. I can't imagine being able to do the whole thing, but looking at it piece by piece is making it easier to manage.
Monday, 1 September 2008
First Day
Well, today went from good to horrible.
I am probably overreacting because I am so stressed out, but I feel really panicky and nervous right now.
The opening flag ceremony was short and relatively interesting. The principle talked for a while and I didn't understand much of it. Then the new teachers introduced themselves. I mentioned graduating from an IB high school and that I was looking forward to being their teacher and friend.
My first class went really well. I ran out of stuff that I had planned only halfway through the class, but then we had a good discussion. The class asked me a lot of questions about me, and I asked them questions.
My second class went ok. I ran out of stuff again and was hoping to have another discussion. They asked me some weird questions like what sort of alcohol I liked to drink, so i tried to steer the conversation away from that. Only about 3 students were talking and the rest were quiet.
My last class for the day went horrible. It started out fine, but when I again tried to start a discussion, they just sat there. After a little while I asked if they were asleep. When one girl said yes, I asked them all to stand up and do 5 jumping jacks. Some did half assed jumps, some just waved their arms, and some just stared at me. I waited for most to move at least a little and then I told them they could sit down again. I tried again to get them to talk, but I got the same response. So I told them to start their homework, packed up my stuff and left.
Thinking back, I should have asked them to start their homework and then gone around to talk to them one by one quietly. But I just panicked. I couldn't stand being in the room anymore with them just staring at me. And now I am freaked out about going back tomorrow. I feel physically sick.
I am probably making this sound much worse than it is, but I feel terrible right now. I hope things get better soon. I wish I had someone from home to talk to and hug me and make me feel better.
I can't give up. If I fail at this, the only thing I will ever think of in the future when faced with a new problem is how I gave up. So I need to keep fighting and get through this. Some how.
I am probably overreacting because I am so stressed out, but I feel really panicky and nervous right now.
The opening flag ceremony was short and relatively interesting. The principle talked for a while and I didn't understand much of it. Then the new teachers introduced themselves. I mentioned graduating from an IB high school and that I was looking forward to being their teacher and friend.
My first class went really well. I ran out of stuff that I had planned only halfway through the class, but then we had a good discussion. The class asked me a lot of questions about me, and I asked them questions.
My second class went ok. I ran out of stuff again and was hoping to have another discussion. They asked me some weird questions like what sort of alcohol I liked to drink, so i tried to steer the conversation away from that. Only about 3 students were talking and the rest were quiet.
My last class for the day went horrible. It started out fine, but when I again tried to start a discussion, they just sat there. After a little while I asked if they were asleep. When one girl said yes, I asked them all to stand up and do 5 jumping jacks. Some did half assed jumps, some just waved their arms, and some just stared at me. I waited for most to move at least a little and then I told them they could sit down again. I tried again to get them to talk, but I got the same response. So I told them to start their homework, packed up my stuff and left.
Thinking back, I should have asked them to start their homework and then gone around to talk to them one by one quietly. But I just panicked. I couldn't stand being in the room anymore with them just staring at me. And now I am freaked out about going back tomorrow. I feel physically sick.
I am probably making this sound much worse than it is, but I feel terrible right now. I hope things get better soon. I wish I had someone from home to talk to and hug me and make me feel better.
I can't give up. If I fail at this, the only thing I will ever think of in the future when faced with a new problem is how I gave up. So I need to keep fighting and get through this. Some how.
Sunday, 31 August 2008
Altogether Good Day
Today was a good day. I had a good night sleep the night before. Then today started out with a video chat with good old mom and pop. Then I had work preparing for tomorrow. Had a long IM conversation with Bonnie. Lunch was good. I sat with some teachers from my department. I mentioned I liked knitting and I may end up being the supervisor for the knitting club. The weather was much cooler than it had been recently. I had a problem with my phone recently but today it was fixed. I had dinner with Charlotte, where we talked about America and New Zealand, then we went out for drinks with some other foreign teachers. I feel much less lonely.
I would write more or in more detail, but tomorrow is my first official day of teaching. I am very tired and very nervous. I just wanted to write a quick post because I am in good spirits and wanted to let you all know!
Just a quick silly note to make up for the lack of detail in my post. My current facebook profile picture is this:
A Chinese teacher from my department friended me on facebook and asked if this was what people from my hometown typically wear! :-) I explained about being in That Medieval Thing.
Anyway, I need a good nights sleep before tomorrow. I have to be in the playground at 715 for the flag raising ceremony. I need to introduce myself to the whole school. *GULP!* Then I have three classes to teach throughout the day.
Wish me luck!
Love,
Stephanie
I would write more or in more detail, but tomorrow is my first official day of teaching. I am very tired and very nervous. I just wanted to write a quick post because I am in good spirits and wanted to let you all know!
Just a quick silly note to make up for the lack of detail in my post. My current facebook profile picture is this:
A Chinese teacher from my department friended me on facebook and asked if this was what people from my hometown typically wear! :-) I explained about being in That Medieval Thing.Anyway, I need a good nights sleep before tomorrow. I have to be in the playground at 715 for the flag raising ceremony. I need to introduce myself to the whole school. *GULP!* Then I have three classes to teach throughout the day.
Wish me luck!
Love,
Stephanie
Saturday, 30 August 2008
A Day With Lucy!
So today started with a trip to the Coffee Beanery for breakfast (I wasn't in the mood for more eggs). Then I went to Decathlon (a sports store near me) to buy a new messenger bag/purse. I only brought two bags with me. One is my laptop case and isn't really good for a purse. The other has Mao's face on it and would make me look like a BIG TOURIST. I don't even know why I packed it. My new bag is very cute and has lots of perfect little pockets. I'll post a picture once I take one.
Then I went to Carrefour to get some laundry detergent and fabric softener. I paid the big bucks to get a brand I knew (All). My clothes need to last me all year and I don't want them to fall apart cuz I bought a really crappy laundry detergent. If I have time tomorrow I will probably brave the washing machine.
Guess what I had for lunch today?? Grilled cheese! Yum! I bought a tiny tiny tiny block of cheese and some bread with my other groceries (which included duck ramen, peanut butter, soy sauce, and a chinese dessert similar to moon pies). So when I got back to my apartment I cut up the cheese and cooked myself up a nice grilled cheese sandwich. It was very tasty, but tasted like most American food I've had in China. Similar but not exactly the same. The bread was a little weird. For a sliced loaf of bread my choices were "American egg and milk salty bread" and "American egg and milk sweet bread". I decided to get the sweet bread.
Anyway...after lunch I got on the bus to go see Lucy. For those who don't know, Lucy has been my penpal since I was in middle school. We have been writing to each other on and off for the last 10 years. We have never met face to face....
Until today!!
We met in the subway station in front of the science and technology museum and had a big hug. She was wearing the gold butterfly necklace I sent her what feels like a million years ago. We took the subway to the river. We sat by the side of the river and talked for a while. We talked about jobs and life and college and men and travel and all sorts of stuff. We walked around some more. She got some hot pot as a snack (which she shared with me ^_^) and I bought some bubble tea. We walked around a very western area and then went to a park where we sat and talked some more. She also called her father and had me talk with him a little. He seems very nice! She gave me a cute little purse for my cell phone. I'm so stupid. I should have brought her a present from the US, but I was so freaked out packing for myself I didn't even think of it.
We went to a restaurant where Lucy treated me to dinner. We had some beef with onions, potato balls, some vegetables with cashews, and rice. I asked Lucy if we could go to a Chinese restaurant because I was too nervous to go into one by myself. It was also nice having her there because at the school canteen I don't know what I was eating! She was able to tell me what everything was. It was very good. I especially liked the beef and onions.
After dinner we parted ways. She gave me directions on how to get back to the bus line I needed. I feel more sure of myself with the subway here now. She invited me to come to her home in Guangzhou for the Autumn festival (which is in the middle of September). I'd love to go, but I'm a little nervous about the idea of meeting her parents. I hope they like me if we meet!
Meeting with Lucy was a really cool experience I never thought would happen when we started writing to each other 10 years ago. It was also nice to have someone to talk to. I've been pretty lonely in my apartment. She said she wants to introduce me to all her friends and take me out dancing. I'm excited to go! I just wish she didn't live so far away. She lives on the other side of the river. Huh...kind of ironic that I now think of her being on the other side of the river as being far away when there used to be an OCEAN between us. Anyway, I'm just really glad that we hit it off in person and I look forward to getting together with her again!
I am trying to reach out in the area to other expats. I posted in an expat forum about wanting to meet up with other craft people (knitting, etc.) I even offered to teach people how to knit. The only responses I got so far was telling me about a group that meets during my work hours and a guy sarcastically asking if I was his mother. :-P Oh well. I'm keeping my hopes up.
I've written a lot and I'm very tired! So I'm signing off for now!
Much love,
Stephanie
米凤冠 (My Chinese name)
雪飞 (Sproffee in Chinese)
Then I went to Carrefour to get some laundry detergent and fabric softener. I paid the big bucks to get a brand I knew (All). My clothes need to last me all year and I don't want them to fall apart cuz I bought a really crappy laundry detergent. If I have time tomorrow I will probably brave the washing machine.
Guess what I had for lunch today?? Grilled cheese! Yum! I bought a tiny tiny tiny block of cheese and some bread with my other groceries (which included duck ramen, peanut butter, soy sauce, and a chinese dessert similar to moon pies). So when I got back to my apartment I cut up the cheese and cooked myself up a nice grilled cheese sandwich. It was very tasty, but tasted like most American food I've had in China. Similar but not exactly the same. The bread was a little weird. For a sliced loaf of bread my choices were "American egg and milk salty bread" and "American egg and milk sweet bread". I decided to get the sweet bread.
Anyway...after lunch I got on the bus to go see Lucy. For those who don't know, Lucy has been my penpal since I was in middle school. We have been writing to each other on and off for the last 10 years. We have never met face to face....
Until today!!
We met in the subway station in front of the science and technology museum and had a big hug. She was wearing the gold butterfly necklace I sent her what feels like a million years ago. We took the subway to the river. We sat by the side of the river and talked for a while. We talked about jobs and life and college and men and travel and all sorts of stuff. We walked around some more. She got some hot pot as a snack (which she shared with me ^_^) and I bought some bubble tea. We walked around a very western area and then went to a park where we sat and talked some more. She also called her father and had me talk with him a little. He seems very nice! She gave me a cute little purse for my cell phone. I'm so stupid. I should have brought her a present from the US, but I was so freaked out packing for myself I didn't even think of it.
We went to a restaurant where Lucy treated me to dinner. We had some beef with onions, potato balls, some vegetables with cashews, and rice. I asked Lucy if we could go to a Chinese restaurant because I was too nervous to go into one by myself. It was also nice having her there because at the school canteen I don't know what I was eating! She was able to tell me what everything was. It was very good. I especially liked the beef and onions.
After dinner we parted ways. She gave me directions on how to get back to the bus line I needed. I feel more sure of myself with the subway here now. She invited me to come to her home in Guangzhou for the Autumn festival (which is in the middle of September). I'd love to go, but I'm a little nervous about the idea of meeting her parents. I hope they like me if we meet!
Meeting with Lucy was a really cool experience I never thought would happen when we started writing to each other 10 years ago. It was also nice to have someone to talk to. I've been pretty lonely in my apartment. She said she wants to introduce me to all her friends and take me out dancing. I'm excited to go! I just wish she didn't live so far away. She lives on the other side of the river. Huh...kind of ironic that I now think of her being on the other side of the river as being far away when there used to be an OCEAN between us. Anyway, I'm just really glad that we hit it off in person and I look forward to getting together with her again!
I am trying to reach out in the area to other expats. I posted in an expat forum about wanting to meet up with other craft people (knitting, etc.) I even offered to teach people how to knit. The only responses I got so far was telling me about a group that meets during my work hours and a guy sarcastically asking if I was his mother. :-P Oh well. I'm keeping my hopes up.
I've written a lot and I'm very tired! So I'm signing off for now!
Much love,
Stephanie
米凤冠 (My Chinese name)
雪飞 (Sproffee in Chinese)
Friday, 29 August 2008
More Prepared....More Nervous
I finally got a chance to talk with Randy yesterday. It made me feel better and worse at the same time. He said the students like creative projects, which means I can use the ideas I had from earlier. But he also made it sound like discipline can be a big problem.
I'm truly nervous about getting the students to respect me. I keep thinking about Mrs. O'Neal. She was my English teacher in high school and my favorite teacher ever. She's the first teacher I can remember that made me feel like an adult and an individual and not just "a student". I want to make my students feel that way. I hope if I am straight forward, honest, patient, and show them that I respect them, they will do the same for me. I don't know what I'll do if I can't keep control of my class. I can't imagine myself being a hard-ass and I don't want to spend so much time punishing them that we don't have time to learn. Worst of all, I don't want them to ignore me or treat me like nothing.
I keep getting mixed messages from the administration. One woman said I didn't need to write a lesson plan because she'll write it (we are both teaching english. she's teaching grammer and reading, I'm teaching speaking and writing). Then another woman asked me to turn in my lesson plan today.
I wrote up a lesson plan for the first week of class that includes a warm-up, a class exercise, and homework for each day. I hope that's what they mean. Other than that I've been writing up ideas for projects both in and out of class.
For example, create your own product. Write a letter to the CEO of the company you work for explaining about your product and what it can do. Then the students can either design the product (or the packaging it comes in) or perform a commercial for it. Sound interesting?
At times I feel like my only worthwhile trait to this school is that my native language is English. I know, I know...that IS my main selling point, but I need to prove that I can be a good teacher too.
(I hope I hope I hope I hope I hope)
P.S. Someone else in the office received international mail using the school address in English, so feel free to write the address on any and all mail sent in English. I updated the address in the post "HOW TO CONTACT ME".
I'm truly nervous about getting the students to respect me. I keep thinking about Mrs. O'Neal. She was my English teacher in high school and my favorite teacher ever. She's the first teacher I can remember that made me feel like an adult and an individual and not just "a student". I want to make my students feel that way. I hope if I am straight forward, honest, patient, and show them that I respect them, they will do the same for me. I don't know what I'll do if I can't keep control of my class. I can't imagine myself being a hard-ass and I don't want to spend so much time punishing them that we don't have time to learn. Worst of all, I don't want them to ignore me or treat me like nothing.
I keep getting mixed messages from the administration. One woman said I didn't need to write a lesson plan because she'll write it (we are both teaching english. she's teaching grammer and reading, I'm teaching speaking and writing). Then another woman asked me to turn in my lesson plan today.
I wrote up a lesson plan for the first week of class that includes a warm-up, a class exercise, and homework for each day. I hope that's what they mean. Other than that I've been writing up ideas for projects both in and out of class.
For example, create your own product. Write a letter to the CEO of the company you work for explaining about your product and what it can do. Then the students can either design the product (or the packaging it comes in) or perform a commercial for it. Sound interesting?
At times I feel like my only worthwhile trait to this school is that my native language is English. I know, I know...that IS my main selling point, but I need to prove that I can be a good teacher too.
(I hope I hope I hope I hope I hope)
P.S. Someone else in the office received international mail using the school address in English, so feel free to write the address on any and all mail sent in English. I updated the address in the post "HOW TO CONTACT ME".
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